Normally I'm not that kind of person. You know, that writer that goes to write in some local coffee shop because Starbucks is too mainstream, and God FORBID if you ask them about what they're working on because that just opens it up for them to brag about how they've had this spectacular and mature idea since they were about 7 and that it's only manifested itself on paper a few years ago and that now that the first draft of the manuscript is done, it'll be published in no time, they just need "the right kind of agent" to represent them. Or the kind of girl that is so obsessed with herself that she's literally thinking "OHMIGOD, I'm SUCH a big f**king deal, everyone NEEDS to know all about me and like, right NOW" -you know the type, don't try to pretend you don't.
In fact, I'm usually the opposite. I stay as quiet as possible in class, thinking "all of these people are probably a lot smarter than me and are really eloquent and if I speak up and say anything they're all going to know I'm an impostor and that I really AM wasting all this money to go to this school."
And GOD FORBID you ask me about what I'm working on right now. You'll be lucky to get anything out of me beyond "lunch?" or "oh, it's just a thought right now" -it doesn't matter how much I've got down, it'll ALWAYS be "just a thought" when you ask about it.
Or even in my group of "friends" most times, they'll be talking about stupid stuff or funny stuff or technical stuff around me and it makes me think "oh yeah, I can totally jump in on this!" and I'll say something and then the conversation dies with a "uh, yeah something like that."
And then I learn to keep my mouth shut.
But my roommate and I have been joking/talking about something for about a year right now, and sometimes I really think it should happen:
A docu-reality show about our lives.
BEFORE YOU CLOSE THE TAB!
I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous -why the HELL would I want to watch a show about two average college girls living their lives?
Well...
We're pretty f**king weird. Reason number one, above all other things. Not like, I collect all of the eye lashes I've ever shed and she doesn't wash her socks kind of weird -that's just creepy.
I mean, like, we can actually understand what the other wants just by shouting out "meow!" through the apartment, or, heck, we have a Poop Diary -a journal we keep hanging by the toilet so when we're in there for "prolonged periods of time," we can write down our "oh so refined" thoughts.
We're not hideous. My roommate is super tall and pretty, and her senior photos make her look like a supermodel version of Taylor Swift. I'm not too shabby -not supermodel T-Swift level or anything, but I don't break mirrors, either!
When I get angry, no one can predict what comes out of my mouth.
Some precious gems include:
-(to some hoe "shut up"-ing my "excuse me" when i was trying to get off the train) "Nah bitch, you shut up and move so I don't have to say it in your face again!"
and
-(to a homeless man who flipped me the bird when I didn't have any change for him) "No, YOU fuck off, I'm a college student -I'm living off debt as it is -I'll be you in two years."
I'll be alcohol legal in a few months, so bar trolls might be an interesting endeavor, especially considering my wild temper flares.
Normal girl drama -my roommate and I, who are normally attached at the hip, had this out-of-proportion text fight the other day that was WAY more dramatic than it needed to be (we're besties again, don't worry), but it was still pretty entertaining to the people I was complaining to.
Boy drama -My roommate thinks she has no luck with guys, but there are 2 completely devoted, hopelessly in love boys (one in Boston, one back home) that are begging to be her boyfriend again, and another back home that gets jealous every time he hears that she's been talking with her best friend/ex-bf here at school and keeps asking to see her when she comes back for break. Her "non-existant" love-life is a soap opera; as if I could be so lucky with more than the occasional 40-year-old creeper on the train that tries to offer me a flower and some kind of "marketing" internship after talking to me for 20 seconds (with a built-in not unattractive 20-something hype man that's just as tall as he is imposing). I just want the guy at school that I like to look and talk to me like he does to my best friend -he totally loves her and she won't accept that.
And we both have enough friends/interactions with interesting/fucked up people that (if for SOME DUBIOUS reason we weren't enough to keep an audience's attention), they're issues would totally rank in the ratings.
Like my roommate's almost daily crossings with her ex-ex-boyfriend's ex-hoebag that came out of no where when she and the douche were still dating and was like "oh no, she's my gf now, not you." But I think that after my roommate punched this asshole in the FACE freshman year, the bitch is still afraid of her.
Seriously, though, I think we would be so much more interesting than 60% of The Real Housewives of Bumblefuck Whatever, Here Comes Boo Boo Chiiiiilld, and every single one of the Teen Moms and the 16 and Pregnant idiots.
That's all for now!
Thanks for reading!
Amy Liz
